This is part two of my Winter Wickedness Journal… but a very special one.
The invitation had gone out on discord and by word of mouth.
Please join Lady Catalyst and myself for a special ceremony tonight at 10 in the hall by the Day Play Space.
The questions started to roll in:
“What kind of ceremony, Catsuit?”
“Are you getting a collar?”
“This sounds big, I’ll be there.”
A ceremony would take place, but why? That was the question.
In order to answer the question, there needs to be context. And in order to have context, you have to set aside what you already know about love.
When I first moved to Cleveland, a friend who I had met in Cincinnati, asked me if I had a kik? I didn’t know what it was, but I was willing to find out. Of course, most of you know KIK but it was new to me, and I was invited to join a chat of his kink friends.
I was definitely the rookie in a room of legends. The people in the chat were from all over the midwest. I was just in awe of the open kink conversation in front of me. It felt like I was a member of a cool club, but so many times, I would show my naivety and feel out of place. However there was one member of the chat who always made me feel at ease. Her moniker. Lady Catalyst. She was most definitely a Domme, and even could be called a sadist, which I learned was her true self. Underneath, she had the heart of a phenomenal woman whose vulnerability brought me closer and closer to her. As time went on, I grew closer to the group, and we actually scheduled a group meeting in Columbus, where many of the group lived.
We chose 16 Bit as a great place to meet, and meeting her was nothing short of what I imagined. I felt so intimidated in the company of all these experienced players, but here I was, talking to someone I already felt was a friend friend. Every time I felt like I might not fit in, there was her gaze letting me know I was welcome and that I belonged. The four hour drive home in a snowstorm was worth every bit of it. I really enjoyed meeting everyone, but one Lady stood out.
It was a simple day in chat, when someone mentioned it was going to be their birthday on Sunday. I spoke up and said it was my birthday as well on Sunday. People picked up on things as BB jokingly said she would take my birthday spankings, to which I replied, “you do know how old I am right?”
And the teasing began. MsInControl brought up the fact that BB should take my spankings while I was forced to watch. And then someone mentioned my catsuit fanaticism, and said that BB should wear a catsuit while taking them. Another voice came in and said “yeah, and it would really make Catsuit uncomfortable if we ripped the catsuit off of her!”
Little did I know that the very scene they described would come true a few weeks later. The mastermind of the scene… Lady Catalyst!
The blog from that scene is here!
When Lady placed herself on my lap to coerce my age from me, something was different. It was a scene yes, but the character of Poison Ivy was working her magic. Little did I know that magic would repeat itself nearly a year later, when other kisses would rain down upon me.
We all gathered on Saturday night in the hall outside of the Day play space. We chose this space as it would be quiet enough to speak to each other, but big enough to hold a number of people.
I was dressed in a regal purple and black. The Queen was in her viking queen personna, with black makeup, an incredible costume topped by a leather crown, and holding a very wicked staff. With our friends gathered, I was told to kneel before the queen.
Lady Catalyst has always been multifaceted. She has the brightest smile, but usually mixed with a wry curl of the lip that makes people wonder what she is up to. She is a sadist to the core, which makes her a strange partner for me, someone who is not into pain at all. She is a nerd, and loves to laugh. She is steel tough, but vulnerable. She is an icon, but still one of the people. She is beautiful in every way, with her shine inside being so much brighter than anything people see on her visage. She is regal, which is why I have referred to her as the Queen, but never once has she made me feel like a peasant or “underneath her.”
Away from the scene, the Lady and I shared many conversations, few about kink. She was, like me, unsure of the world ahead, whether it had been in employment or relations. We shared our hopes and dreams and held each other up so we would not fall. We did this not because we had to, it was because we wanted to. I never asked her for anything, and she never was at a want for what I could do for her. We were two people, being people.
In the light of the hallway, I gazed upon my Queen. I could not keep myself from beaming. I was so proud to be in this place, at this time, in front of a vision of love. She looked like she needed some confidence, which quickly turned when she admitted “I wanted to make sure I got this right.”
And so we began. She instructed me to take a vow to her, and repeat the words she said to me.
I, J (actually my name, but I will use J here) will honor my Queen.
WAIT WAIT! Did she just say J? What about Catsuit? She is talking to the real me, and not my personna.
I, J, WILL HONOR MY QUEEN
Support my Queen
SUPPORT MY QUEEN
Honor my Queen
HONOR MY QUEEN
Love my queen
To say I am in love with the Lady would be an understatement. More than anyone else, she understood the true me from the day she met me. Funny thing, I didn’t. She saw through me, not allowing the scared newbie to take her vision, but rather inside to me. She saw the loving person I was. The me that was yet to be, And now, with all I am, she sees me as the true me. One that can say without hesitation…
LOVE MY QUEEN
Protect my Queen
If there is one woman that, to so many others, does not need protection, it is Lady Catalyst. She is one of the most intimidating people to those who cross her. Put on an air of superiority, she will shoot you down with just a look. The woman I know though is a woman who appreciates the softness and caring… the protection of another, like a 6-4 guy with an affinity for spandex.
PROTECT MY QUEEN
And Grow with my Queen.
AND GROW WITH MY QUEEN.
I will grow through the tears and glow through the laughter.
Tears, so many tears I have shed in her presence. Never once did I regret crying as she understood the inside of me… the one looking for a true self only she could see. Never shaming me for being emotional, she was always one I could just be myself with.
Laughs, so many laughs I have giddled in her presence. Never once did I regret telling a bad joke or showing my naivety as she understood the inside of me… the one who was shamed for trying to be funny and being misunderstood. Never telling me that I was anything less than joym she was always one I could just be myself with.
I WILL GROW THROUGH THE TEARS AND GLOW THROUGH THE LAUGHTER.
At this point, we both had tears in our eyes and small cracks in our voices. She continued.
I will enjoy the vanilla and delight in the chocolate,
Truth be told, chocolate was only something I could find in a store. It had been a long time since I delighted in its joy. As for vanilla, well, that was the me she first met.
I WILL ENJOY THE VANILLA AND DELIGHT IN THE CHOCOLATE,
I will be both heroic and villainous at my Queen’s will.
I WILL BE BOTH HEROIC AND VILLAINOUS AT MY QUEEN’S WILL.
And enjoy all the evil deliciousness in between.
AND ENJOY ALL THE EVIL DELICIOUSNESS IN BETWEEN.
Her smile told the whole story. I was hers now completely, and would never question her intentions for what she had in store for me.
And with that, a final instruction:
RISE, SIR CATSUIT J, THE FIRST KNIGHT OF THE CATALYST TABLE!
We embraced with all the energy two tearful people could muster. We shared the joy of two people very much in love with the other. We shared the moment, with our friends as witness. Unquestionable love. But oh, there were questions.
She knew the questions would come. I had no idea.
We logged into our discord with our friends
@everyone Thank you for everyone that was able to join us for the knighting. It was brief but the action was full of so much love and it meant a lot to me and J, I’m sure. Much love.
@everyone I wanted to echo the Lady Catalyst’s words by saying that it was so special to me that so many of you joined us for the Knighting ceremony. Yes, there were tears (I think from both of us) but those drops of heaven were the culmination of a lot of conversations, so many hugs, words when we were sad, laughs from when we’re happy. And it all started from this man, who had no way to find the destination, found it in the guidance of an incredible woman who decided to remind me to be me. All of you knew Catsuit. She found J.
The questions got more intense, and I just felt like I needed to share my thoughts with the whole group… and I did it in this way the evening after we parted to our different homes..
I want to share my drop with you as I sit alone in the house of my ex and my kids. I am back in a place that gave me so much stress in my life, and while things are friendly, all I can think about is being back with you all. It’s not about WW, it’s about you.
While I made new friends, the ones we choose are the ones that stay with us, in our heart.
As I sit here in a place and see the love I lost, I am reminded of the beauty of the love I have found.
From my roomies, the snore chorus.
To my original play partner and her crew.
To my brothers and sisters in this family.
To the ones I didn’t see this weekend who are always in my heart.
To the ones I rarely see but are so kind to me.
The salt of my tears is hard to bear as I try to move by fingers across this tiny little screen.
And to my Queen. So many of you have asked;”so, when are you changing your relationship status?”
How long have you been seeing each other?
Is it kinky or vanilla or both?
Can I be in your House?
What are you calling yourselves?
My queen @Lady_Catalyst is my love and my heart. What it means is that we have a love without labels. We don’t need them because what we feel comes from so many words that we have shared and the moments we have been one.
My family, it is simply love. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is exclusive to her, it is non exclusive to her. It is simply love. She has my heart and I know she would be mad at me of I didn’t share that heart with you, my kink family.
So my relationship has not changed.
I simply love. I love one. I love you all. You are the Ones I Choose. And I want to be yours this day and forever.
I am Sir Catsuit J, First Knight of the Catalyst Table, and protector of Love. For one. For all.
Love. It’s what drives me. It’s what fuels me. It makes me whole. And to my Queen, my love, always.